It doesn’t matter if he’s all dark and McDreamy or even if he makes you laugh, when it comes to sizing up a first date, it’s all about the kiss, says Liz Frost
First dates are all about finding out if you’re compatible, discussing each other’s backgrounds, getting to know one another, right? Wrong. Whatever your mum/gran/big sister told you, forget it now because I’m telling you: a first date is all about the kiss.
There are many different types of kisses out there: long ones; short ones; sloppy ones; pecky ones; but you’d better believe it, however good your date is, if the kiss is bad, you may as well be dating a St Bernard. And what’s worse than a bad kiss? A Non-Kiss. (NK)
When I say NK I don’t mean a shake of the hand, because hey, maybe he’s shy. I mean the kind of kiss that says ‘you’ll never see me again’ in big fat red letters. It says ‘I’ve bothered to kiss you, but nowhere erogenous’. It’s usually on the forehead, but has been known to lurk near the eyebrow or temple, basically anywhere but the mouth. An NK is quick, perfunctionary and over quicker than you can say ‘Hey, let me remove my glasses first!’
My friend Laura had such a kiss recently and she’s still reeling. “It was right on the tip of my nose,” she said soulfully into her Martini and we all looked her in sympathy because, let’s face it, she would never see him again.
With this in mind I arrived on a first date of my own on Sunday with trepidation. An internet date no less. We’d had a fair bit of electronic banter beforehand, so I knew he wasn’t an idiot. And from what I could see from his photos, everything was in the right place on his face, which is usually a good sign (and believe me, it’s not always the case). It was all down to the kiss.
As we sat nervously side by side in the French House in Soho, we drank cider and talked. I laughed, he laughed, our arms brushed up against each other and every now and then our legs touched. I wondered if he was wondering about the kiss too, as he slipped his hand in mine and left it there (until he had to pee). There’s just no telling with an NK – it can come completely out of the blue. Just because you think you’re getting on like a house on fire, doesn’t mean he won’t swoop in with an NK at the end of the night and ruin everything. I was full of anticipation.
But several ciders later at the bus stop I’d inevitably forgotten all about the kiss. We were talking in slurs about the merits of Peep Show vs The Mighty Boosh so for a moment I was distracted. That’s when he kissed me. It was nowhere near my eyebrow or my temple, but straight on the mouth where it belonged. And it belonged very well. Like I said, when it comes to the kiss, there’s just no telling…
Liz Frost is a freelance writer specialising in features for women's magazines. She writes for Company, Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Zest, B, Bliss, She, Female First and NW. Email her at liz_frost@yahoo.co.uk, even if it's just to say hello!
