Bride-to-be Mimi McMillan shakes up the tranquility of her engagement and discovers some uncomfortable truths in the wedding countdown
When my beloved proposed a couple of years ago, we decided not to rush into things. We both felt relaxed about marriage and had way too many friends’ weddings on the horizon to have time to organise our own. In fact we made an effort to be laidback and I determined there would be no bridezilla personality transplant for me.
And I’ve truly enjoyed being engaged. I’d go so far as to say it’s been the best time of my life. I cherish the security being in love and having commitment wraps me in. I enjoy mulling over the promise our future holds. I adore practising for and dreaming of the little babies we will hopefully one day spawn and the different ways our family life might pan out… Should we be ex-urban hippies and emmigrate to Ibiza or relocate to Australia so our bairns can be sun-nourished? Should we be city slickers and resign ourselves to climbing the London housing ladder? Should we don Barbours and green wellies and find a darling little cottage in the Cotswolds? There are so many possibilities and we’re not sure of anything really… but it’s so much fun to ponder.
Anyway two years have passed since the engagement. Not much happening other than hard work, being in love and me playing the ‘what shall we call our babies’ game (much to my beloved’s chagrin, Araminta, Jemima, Octavius and Peregrin are my current faves)… but something has shifted lately. We set the date.
Not long after we decided on an October wedding a whole lot of strange things happened. The first, infused me with disturbing on-off panic. I looked in the mirror one day and saw what could only be described as wrinkles. I had, of course, heard that it would happen, that my skin would age as I did. But not, for crying out loud, just before my wedding? I gave up smoking four years ago and I am still a mere, 29 so where the bloody hell did these things come from? How dare I get wrinkles before I have my wedding photos taken?
It’s led me to considering desperate measures... “Maybe if I bring the wedding forward we could stave off the ego damaging disaster that will ensue from being a wrinkly bride?” but after heated debate I’ve been forced to accept that bringing the wedding forward won’t much matter in the battle with my face, so it’s still on for October. Although I haven’t yet decided how much action to take, I have to admit to being one of those women who partook in the race to buy Perfect and Protect (NB. it says on the packet it needs at least four weeks to take effect so I haven’t yet ruled out botox...)
Wrinkles are just the tip of the ice-berg. Their discovery has attuned me to the reality of my ageing body and I decided to look hard and fast at the rest of it. I realise that even though in clothes I can scrub up pretty well – if I’m going to get those honeymoon pics (me in a bikini kicking around in the surf with my beloved, me in a bikini lolling in a hammock under a coconut tree with my beloved, me in a bikini riding a horse at sunset with my beloved…me in a bloody bikini, damn it!) I need to take some serious action.
So I’m sitting here now thinking how pleased I am to have met Personal Trainer Danni Levy from Lomax PT. The first of many professionals I shall involve in my quest for holistic bridal beauty. Danni, it appears, is the answer to my blubbery body’s prayers. She says she can help me tone my orange peel bottom, tree trunk thighs and flapping bat wings. She says she will work with me to reach my goals, using techniques learned during her days at the Australian Institute of Fitness (no faddy diets or extreme regimes there – just good old fashioned outdoor exercise and balanced diets).
And you know what? From the aprés-workout muscle ache I'm still experiencing today, I believe she might just be telling the truth… After only one session with Danni (we met in the privacy of the Kensington Gardens Hotel’s Soma Centre two days ago), I feel there is definitely something going on with my body. Although I still haven’t emailed her my weekly food diary (it’s sitting ominously on my desk top), I’m not stupid or kidding myself about all this. I know that if I eat heaps of lard and guzzle pints of beer, I can’t expect to see a difference. But I am really and truly full of hope. There is nothing like one’s own wedding looming, to kick one’s arse into action, and I really think if any one can help me whip this no-longer-in-the-flush-of-youth-nearly-30-year-old-body of mine into curvaceous but toned shape, maybe Danni can.
Stay tuned for more Beauty & the Bride updates, or if you want to help Mimi in her battle for bridal beauty perfection (or just tell her to stop being so bloody vain!) then email her.
